


My Idiot Guard

by Otaku_Band_Geek



Series: RVB Medieval AU [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Caboose is actually good with a bow, Church is a sorcerer, Fluff, Humor, King Church, Knight Caboose, Knight Carolina, Knight Tucker, Knight Washington, M/M, Rated T for Church's language, just pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22121815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otaku_Band_Geek/pseuds/Otaku_Band_Geek
Summary: With a war predicted to be declared on Blue Kingdom, the lords of the castle convince King Church to get a personal guard. That guard ends up being the one and only, Knight Caboose. If you were to ask Church, he might say it was a slight mistake.
Relationships: Michael J. Caboose/Leonard L. Church
Series: RVB Medieval AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1785850
Comments: 9
Kudos: 54





	My Idiot Guard

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 3am, so if it's cringe, I'm sorry, but I hope you enjoy! I certainly had fun writing it!

"But, sire, with the threat of a war coming, we want you to be protected with a personal guard." One of the lords says, looking up from the Blue Kingdom's battle plans.

King Church just scoffs and glares at the guy, "Hey, fuck you man. I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself if there's an assassin or whatever."

"Your majesty, this isn't something to argue about. We can't have you dead when we need someone to guide the kingdom." Another man says, quite angrily. 

"Listen, I understand you guys are concerned about my well being, but I'm the most powerful sorcerer in Blue Kingdom. So mind your own fucking business and leave me the hell alone." Church growls back.

Both men huff in annoyance and continue to pester the king about a personal guard until Church gets sick of their whiny voices and agrees.

"Fine! Whatever! Just shut the fuck up!" He replies. "But since you're being assholes about this, I'll only do it if I get to pick who is going to be my personal knight." Church sighs. The lords nod hesitantly, but are happy that their king decided to agree.

After they were done discussing battle plans, King Church and the two lords walk out to the knight's training grounds and observe each and every one of the noble fighters.

"Alright, everyone listen up! The king will be choosing a personal guard today, so you all will be showing your sword fighting skills!" The general of the Blue Army, Carolina, says.

Church steps forward to watch them, ignoring the distant 'bow chicka bow wow'. He rolls his eyes at having to do this. He didn't need a personal guard, but since he got the lords to agree to letting him choose, it wasn't so bad. Church could see the best and the worst of the Blue knights and could choose the one that sucked the most, because he certainly didn't need someone to protect him, that was just a fucking stupid idea.

Lost in thought and in boredom, the king barely paid attention to what was going on. The main people he really remembered was Knight Washington, who was actually really skilled with a sword, so he was an instant no. The next knight was Tucker, who Church knew personally, so that was already a no from his end. Last but not least, Church watched a younger knight by the name of Caboose, who actually kind of sucked if he were to put it lightly. The king continued to watch Knight Caboose and decided, without a doubt, that he'd be the perfect guard for him.

"Knight Caboose only just joined. Wouldn't it be best to choose a more suitable knight, someone with experience, like Washington?" One of the lords says, frowning at Church's choice.

The king only just smirks, "Nope. The deal was that I got to choose, and besides if he sucks that bad I'm saving him from not dying on the battlefield." He turns away from the two men and clears his throat to make the announcement. "I'm choosing Knight Caboose to be my personal guard, so this shit is over now. You're all dismissed to do whatever the fuck you normally do."

All of the knights look at Caboose with confusion, but he just jumps up in victory. "Yes! I won!" He yells loudly. "Wait, what did I win exactly..?" He frowns, tilting his head to the side.

"You get to be that asshole's new guard, Caboose." Tucker says, walking up to him, Wash a few steps behind him.

"Tucker, you're not allowed to call the king things like that." Wash sighs tiredly. He looks to Caboose, after Tucker flips him off, and puts a hand on the young knight's shoulder. "Just remember your training and don't forget and your bow and arrows. This job is going to be a little bit tough, but I know you can do it." He says encouragingly. 

"Just don't screw up, alright?" Tucker says, but his tone doesn't carry any bite to it. "See ya later, buddy." He claps Caboose on the shoulder and pulls Wash away, "Come on, Wash, I wanna get a few more practices in before dinner."

Caboose watches his two friends leave before grabbing his bow, arrows, and his helmet. He then walks up to where King Church was standing with a huge grin on his face. "Hello, King Church! Thank you for picking me. We are going to become best friends!" 

Church just rolls his eyes and nods, "Sure, dude. Let's just leave before I die of boredom." He turns to leave, glancing over his shoulder to make sure the knight was following

Caboose hurries after him, frowning, "You will not die, King Church, because we are best friends now and I am here to protect you." He walks beside the king, giving Church the opportunity to study the man. He was significantly taller than the king, about a head or so. Caboose had very broad shoulders and short brown hair that curled slightly at the ends, a wide grin that seemed to never disappear, and a light patch of freckles that spread out across his nose, but the main thing that caught Church's interest was the ocean blue eyes that stared back at him. Church felt like he could stare at them all day and never get bored. The king definitely noticed how attractive his new personal guard was, but was brought out of his thoughts once they reach his personal quarters. He then turns away from Caboose and steps inside.

"I'll be inside going over some work. You stand out here and guard the door." The king says, grabbing the door to close it, "And please, don't say or do anything stupid that will bother me." He glares and slams it shut. He walks over to a small desk, lights the candles with some fire magic, and sits down to work.

Caboose just stares at the wooden door in front of him and sits down on the stone floor with a small thump. He hums to himself and fiddles with his boots, smiling happily to know that his best friend was just inside the room. "He's probably thinking about all the cool best friend things we're going to do." He just sits there in silence for a bit, before quickly standing up and banging on the door, "King Church? Can I come in? It's boring out here!" 

Church rolls his eyes, "No, Caboose. I can't have you bothering me right now." He looks back down at his work before another knock is heard. "Caboose! Seriously, shut the fuck up. You can't come in!"

"But, King Church…" The knight whines as he jiggles the doorknob. "There's no one out here to talk to, and you're in there being super lonely, too."

Church stands up in fury and stomps over to the door. He grabs the handle and swings it open with such anger, Caboose's smile falters for a second. "Fine, but don't touch anything." He huffs, stepping aside to let the other in.

Caboose walks in happily and smiles down at his king, "Thank you, King Church! Now we can have a super best friend hang out!" 

Church shakes his head, "No. I have work to do and just call me Church. King Church sounds too weird." He shuts the door and goes back over to his desk.

Caboose nods and sits on the king's bed, setting his helmet and weapons on the floor, "So, Church, what is your favorite color? Mine is blue, of course!" He says with a grin.

Church just sighs and slams his head down on the desk. This was going to be a long afternoon.

A few weeks had passed by in about the same manner: Caboose would be his all-time-happy self, while Church just stood there and listened to the knight's rambling. It was super annoying to the king, but eventually he got used to it and actually kind of looked forward to their random conversations. Church had even noticed that Caboose's smiles had started to rub off on him, but he wouldn't admit that to anyone. Nothing life threatening ever happened, though, so Church just got more and more acquainted with the talkative knight, until one afternoon.

It was after Church just got done with his work for the day when Caboose burst into the chambers, "Church! Are you done yet? Let's go do something fun instead of sitting around all day!"

Church sighs and nods, "Sure. What did you have in mind?" He walks over to the taller man. 

"We should go for a walk. I want to see all the pretty flowers in the castle's garden." He hums happily.

Church smiles slightly and starts to make his way out of the room when a scream comes from down the hall. He looks at Caboose before heading in that direction. 

Caboose grabs a hold of Church's arm and pulls him back, "Let me go first. I need to make sure my bestest friend doesn't get hurt." He draws his bow and one arrow, pulling it back to get ready to fire. At that point in time, a hooded figure runs into the candle light and makes a running start towards the duo, a bloodied knife in their hand. 

Caboose shoves Church back and gets on one knee. He pulls the string back, aims, and fires. The king watches the arrow fly through the air and impale the assassin right through the chest, killing them instantly.

"I didn't know you could aim like that, Caboose." Church says in awe. He stands up, brushes the dirt off of his pants, and looks at a worried Caboose. "I'm fine, buddy. Nothing to worry about."

Caboose does a once over, cupping his hands around Church's face to make sure that he was actually okay. Church stares into Caboose's eyes, making his heartbeat sound throughout his entire body. The knight suddenly lets go and nods his head, "Ms. Scary General Carolina says that my aiming skills are pretty great and that I have unnatural super strength, which I don't know what that means, so she put me with archering lessons and hand-to-hand combread." 

Church nods, "I guess I underestimated you then. Oh, well. You still want to go on that walk, though?" Caboose nods happily and the two set off on their walk. Before they could get any farther, though, Church stops to turn to Caboose, "Thank you, Caboose. For protecting me or whatever and if you tell anyone I said that, I'll beat the shit out of you." The knight just smiles at him and they continue walking.

A few weeks after the assassin incident, Church had decided that he should go for a horse ride into the castle town to catch up on all of his citizens. Naturally, Caboose was there to head off with him, deciding to walk to the town beside the king's horse. 

Once the make it down to the town, Caboose, who was leading the horse around the city, had wandered off when Church wanted down to talk to a few nobles.

"Things have been running smoothly, I hope?" He asks them, half caring on what their responses would be. He turns to catch a glimpse at Caboose, but the knight was nowhere in sight. "Wait, before you say anything, do you know where my knight has gone?" The nobles shake their heads, so Church gets back up on his horse and starts to look for his idiot.

He rides through the most crowded part of town, when Caboose just pops up out of nowhere, "Church! Can we go down to the creek? Oh pretty please?" 

Church sighs and nods, "Sure, buddy, and where the hell have you been?" He asks as Caboose leads the horse to a dirt path. 

"I saw this cute puppy and I had to go pet it! I named him Freckles, but he already belonged to a family. They let me hold him for a bit and told me about the creek, so I wanted to go see it with you." Caboose grins back a Church, an action that causes a warmth to spread through the king's chest.

Church bites his lip to keep his blush at bay when a slight hissing came from the right of him. He looks over at the same time his horse does to see a large snake bearing it fangs at the group. The horse whinnies in fear and bucks Church off of her back, making the king fly through the air. Bracing himself for impact with the hard ground, Church shuts his eyes tightly, but the pain never came. He realizes that he has been caught by someone, that someone was Caboose, who had one arm under the king's knees, the other on his back.

"Are you okay, Church?" The knight asks him, hugging Blue Kingdom's king to his chest. 

Church nods slowly, wrapping his arms around Caboose's neck to keep from falling. "Do you think we could just walk home? If I never ride a fucking horse again, it will be too soon." He sighs as Caboose sets him down.

"Can we still go to the creek?" Caboose asks, once they both worked together to calm the horse down.

Church decides that he could use a little break after that scare, and nods his head.

The two spend the rest of the day, watching the fish swim around and the sun set behind the trees. If Church said he didn't try to brush his arm against Caboose's or sit a little too close to him to watch the sun, then he'd be lying. On the walk back to the castle, he even got to hold the knight's hand only because Caboose was too scared to walk in the dark, but Church decided to savor the moment while it lasted. 

It had been another few weeks when Caboose had asked Church to take another walk through the castle gardens, wanting to see the last of the flowers before fall came in. Church had reluctantly agreed, but was secretly happy to spend more time with the lovable idiot. 

"Stay here, Church. I want to go get something for you." Caboose says as the king sits down on the edge of the fountain. Church watches the knight run off and disappear around the corner with a smile upon his face.

He had realized that he had fallen for the idiot a few days ago and couldn't stop thinking about him. Every time they were with each other, Church would stand as close to Caboose as he could and would try to do anything to make the younger man smile, which wasn't that hard, but he still enjoyed it. 

Church looks down at the water in the fountain, a smile gracing his lips as he thinks about Caboose when said knight runs towards him, his hands behind his back.

"I found it, Church!" Caboose grins at him, panting a bit from the running.

"Alright, buddy. What is it?" Church asks, looking up into his ocean blue eyes.

Caboose moves his arm out in front of him and reveals a baby blue colored flower. He gently reaches it out to Church, who takes it with a confused smile on his face. "It's pretty, right? I got it for you because it reminds me of how pretty you are, Church." Caboose says to him.

Church flushes slightly and grins up at Caboose, "Oh, well thank you, Caboose. I love it." He then looks off to the side and notices one dark blue rose. He stands up and walks pass the knight to pick it and burn the thorns off of it with his magic. Church turns back to Caboose and puts the flower behind the taller man's ear. "There, a flower for you, too."

Caboose giggles happily and takes the baby blue flower from Church and puts it behind the king's own ear, "Now we match. Just like best friends should."

Church nods at that and starts to shiver when a cold breeze comes through, "We should probably head inside, buddy. It's getting kind of cold." He says and heads towards the castle entrance. 

Caboose runs after him, "Okay! Do you think we- Oof!" One of his boots get caught on a grown up root, causing the knight to crash into the king, pushing him up against the door to the castle. Caboose's hands were on either side of Church's head, their faces inches apart.

Church looks into Caboose's ocean eyes again, the closest he's ever been to see them. He notices golden flecks in each iris and how the happiness from the knight's smile lights up his eyes more that the sun could. As Church's heartbeat drums in his ears, he says, "Screw it," and surges forward to kiss Caboose on the lips.

Caboose’s eyes widen in shock, but quickly recovers and kisses Church back with pure joy and love. The two stand there, wrapped in each other's warmth until Church pulls away to look at the knight. 

"Hey, Church? Can we be more that just best friends?" Caboose asks him, smiling more that Church had ever seen him smile before.

"Of course, you idiot. Now, stop smiling and kiss me again." King Church says and Knight Caboose did just that.

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of plan on writing Tuckington in this universe and maybe even heading over to the Red Kingdom for some Grimmons, but I'll just have to wait and see. Comments are appreciated to see how I did. Thanks for reading!!


End file.
